When novelist Richard Paul Evans felt the life draining out of his marriage, he knew it was something he needed to address. “I loved her, I knew I loved her, she loved me,” the author explained to TV lifestyle channel NBC Better in December 2017. He also knew something needed to change, and so he started asking a daily question that might have saved his marriage.
It can happen to any couple who have been together a long time. You may have expected life to be full of sunlight and laughter every day since you got married. But life doesn’t work that way, and you have to take the rough with the smooth. Eventually, the smallest things might grind you down to the point where everything feels like a chore.
Evans, an author from Salt Lake City, Utah, had married his wife, Keri, when they were both 21. Perhaps in their naivety they had an unrealistic idea of just what marriage entailed, and very soon things started to fall apart. Evans claimed their relationship had deteriorated to the point that their daughter, then 12, had said she feared – or maybe even hoped – that her parents would get divorced.
In a blog post, Evans detailed how far apart he and his wife had drifted over the years. The author also described the epiphany he had in the shower one day. On the verge of separation from his wife, the writer suddenly knew what he needed to do. And the very next morning he had a question to ask his wife.
When he awoke the next day, Evans asked his wife, “How can I make your day better?” In fact he went on to ask the question every morning. And whatever she asked, he did. Then she started to ask the question to him. Lines of communication opened up that were missing in their marriage, forming a stronger bond than ever before.